W – “Walk Hard” to “Worst Witch”
WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY ( 2007 )
WASP WOMAN (1959)
One of the most fun of Corman’s early cheapies. Janice Starlin (Susan Cabot), head of Janice Starlin Cosmetics, can’t be the “face” of her company’s ads now that age has begun to take its toll on her face (in the form of unconvincing smears of greasepaint along the creases in her face). Enter a mad scientist-slash- wasp aficionado. He’s just been fired from his job at honey farm (?) but that doesn’t keep Cabot from making him her personal beauty consultant. With extracts taken from wasp enzymes the effects of aging are reversed in guinea pigs and cats. An impatient Cabot takes it upon herself to hurry her doses, which works great…at first. The promotional materials for WW show a wasp with a woman’s head while the movie gives us the exact opposite. The wasp woman attacks are hilarious and the mask is ridiculous, but the story is more engaging than your usual Corman fare. I recognized Cabot in a 50s educational short about rushing to marriage called, “Is it Love?” All in all WW is a superior low-budget creature feature.
***
WAY OUT TOPLESS (1967)
Practically unrelated narration accompanies opening scenes of naked ladies exercising at a gym, before we’re shuttled across the country to peep in on strip clubs and go-go bars in various major cities. If you were ever curious about the strip clubs of Baltimore circa 1967, this is the movie for you. Most of the strippers are pretty fug, but I liked the cowgirl best.
**
WEREWOLF IN A GIRLS’ DORMITORY ( 1961 )
WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW? (2004)
Marlee Matlin stars in the narrative-framing device of this pseudo-documentary. Essentially it’s Quantum Physics for Idiots. A parade of doctors and theorists offer sound bites on concepts like God, reality and everything in between. Some of it is succinct and mind opening, but there’s an over-reliance on animated sequences to supplement the mumbo-jumbo, creating the feel of an Epcot Center presentation. Matlin is lovely, but her awkwardly staged “story” only interrupts the flow of some interesting ideas. The quantum experts on display seem to range from scholarly to crackpot. If you have ever been interested in quantum physics, its doubtful this offers any revelations. Probably plays best to the stoned. And seriously, what’s with the title? Lame!
**
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (1979)
The wildly overrated thriller that had babysitters everywhere checking homes for second phone lines starts strong but quickly turns into a boring cop movie starring Charles Durning who huffs and puffs his pudgy butt all over the city. Carol Kane is effective and believably terrified as the tormented babysitter, but Black Christmas already used the phone gag and far more effectively years earlier. A few moments of genuine suspense barely add up to enough to justify a rental. The belated, creatively titled When a Stranger Calls Back, also starring Kane, arrived on the straight-to-video circuit in 1993. It’s earned its fair share of fans also. A widely despised re-make was released in 2006.
**
WHITE SLAVES OF CHINATOWN (1964)
WILD THINGS (1998)
This was a sleeper hit when it came out in theaters and deserves solid cult status for being highly entertaining unapologetic trash. The convoluted double-crossing noir plot involves murder, a teacher (Matt Dillon) accused of rape, lesbian make-outs, bi-sexual threesomes, cat fights, court scenes and best of all: Bill Murray as a sleazy ambulance chaser. The sex scenes were pretty intense for an R-rated major studio release at the time. Denise Richards supplies most of the nudity. Neve Campbell doesn’t show anything. And –oh yes- Kevin Bacon’s penis makes an unwelcome appearance. The credit sequence has some nice post-script moments that tie up loose ends. A special edition was released several years after the initial DVD release and it’s one of the rare alternate cuts that actually provides extra sex and nudity in its deleted scenes. Huzzah!
***
WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD (1968)
WILD WOMEN OF WONGO (1958)
This bizarre combination of native action jungle movie and really bad late-50s comedy is entertaining in that it’s unbelievably ill conceived. The make-up and costumes look Halloween-ready. One tribe has ugly men and beautiful women. Another has ugly women and hunky fellas. Hilarity ensues. This one is perfect for fans of jungle trash, catfights, pigdin English and (white?) scantily clad (though never nude) “island girls.”
*
WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (1971)
WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP (1997)
This pseudo-documentary integrates real historic photographs and freshly filmed dialogue-free vignettes to tell the story of the Black Hills region of Wisconsin between 1890 and 1900. During this time unemployment, devastating winters and barren land seemed to slowly turn this seemingly family-friendly settlement into a hotbed of bizarre behavior. Murder, love-lorn suicides, violent child rebellions, an outbreak of diphtheria and tales of witches and ghosts seemed to pollute the isolated community. Narrator Ian Holm reads actual newspaper narrative from the dark period to comment on the visuals. As a doc it kind of works but often smacks of film school mechanics. Shot almost entirely in black and white, the movie still lacks a feel of authenticity due in part to the pantomimed performances of the extras involved. The actual photographs from the period are far more effective, especially when you are looking at an antiquated photo image of a pretty little girl as the narration comments on the horrible things she had done. The material is endlessly fascinating but warrants a better presentation than the by-numbers treatment it receives. It reminded me a little of The Blair Witch Curse mockumentary, which somehow manages to be far more engaging than this. Still worth a look for those interested in genuine American Gothic. The film is inspired by a book of the same name. ** ½
THE WORST WITCH
Fairuza Balk is Mildred Hubble of the Jill Murphy’s children’s book about the class screw up at an all-girls witch school. Sprinkled with a few bad songs and silly effects (broom-flying scenes especially), WW is most notable for its cast which includes Avenger, Diana Rigg , Charlotte “Facts of Life” Raye (in a dual role) and Rocky Horror’s Tim Curry as a warlock heartthrob(?!). Balk pours lots of sincerity into what is essentially a seasonal kiddy cable matinee. The sets and vibe are strikingly Harry Potter-esque. It’s a British TV production and almost every little witch, save Balk, speaks with a British accent. Perfect for Halloween parties and afternoons with little sibs.
**1/2
WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY (2007)
WRONG TURN (2003)
Good intentions and able cast (Jeremy Cisto and Eliza Dushku) aside, this is a pretty standard slasher flick. A group of college kids break down in West Virginia and end up doing battle with inbred mutants that lurk in the woods. Could be considered horribly offensive to –oh, say anyone living in West Virginia – but to no rewarding ends. The first half builds some nice tension but things come unraveled when the killing starts; it’s strictly by the numbers from there. There are some nice set pieces and some 70s nostalgia built into the plot, which greedily cribs from Deliverance and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Sigh. Don’t they all?). Cabin Fever came out shortly after this, explored similar territory and also failed at the box office. Of the two, this ranks slightly superior.
**
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