ALIEN vs. Predator (2004) Reviewed

If you can buy a set-up that has “predators” enslaving ancient Aztecs (!) to build temples, and cultivating “aliens” for protection (The most convoluted story since Ripley crash-landed on a prison planet.), you might be able to squeeze some fun out of AvP. If approached like a “Godzilla vs.-” B movie, it kind of works. And like most Godzilla movies AvP takes too long to get to the action. Sharp digital effects passably mix with guys in rubber suits. The human cast is disposable and dispatched without too much care or thought. Things pick up about 45 minutes in and the action stays relatively consistent from that point on, only pausing here and there to needlessly remind us of its very shaky premise. The film’s heroine, obviously written to emulate Ripley, is about as flat as they come. The aliens look perfect but the predators move like husky pro-wrestlers with Rasta dreds. It’s no real spoiler to tell you that the movie’s ultimate gyp is that it leaves us with no clear “winner.” The AvP concept had been explored in comic books while rumors of a movie circulated for many many years before actually coming to fruition. It was considered a disappointment for genre lovers but its still worth a look for fans of the dueling franchises. The tagline for this movie – “No matter who wins, we lose.” — was like a softball thrown to smarmy critics. **

~ by Number5ive on November 12, 2008.

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