Cindy and Donna (1970) Reviewed

"Cindy and Donna" --the story of young ladies learning lessons in love, lust and loss...but sleazy.

"Cindy and Donna" --the story of young ladies learning lessons in love, lust and loss...but sleazy.

Seventeen-year old Cindy (Debbie Osborne) is in awe of big sister, Donna’s sexual exploits,  but she just doesn’t get it. Whether she’s spying on Donna, parked and “makin’ it” in the driveway with her boyfriend, or watching her bang dear ol’ stepdad, Cindy is curious but timid. But “don’t be afraid, Cindy” instructs the dreamy, ballady, canned-cheese 70s soundtrack, as Cindy inches her way toward womanhood. One minute she’s showing up at breakfast dressed and pig-tailed like Laura Ingles and swinging on swing sets like a tween and the next she’s flipping through Dad’s skin mags and seducing Donna’s boyfriend with smoldering looks and a big fat joint. Who can blame her with parental examples like hers? Mom is a drunk and Dad is a stripper-chasin’ sex addict. When Cindy finally gives over to teen desires as red-hot and fiery as her long  jail-bait locks, she finds out the hard way that there is a price to be paid for such free livin’. (And how.) C&D is one of those 70s drive-in flicks that’s so beautifully representative of its type that you can hardly believe it’s not a put-on. Under the guise of “coming-of-age drama” Cindy’s story is essentially a feature-length excuse to get the two female leads naked as often as possible. Dialogue-free scenes of extended showers and adolescent front-seat fumbling do little to advance the plot but lots to keep your eyes occupied. Every character is the best kind of 70s sleaze stereotype and the dated dialogue never fails to disappoint — all the way up to the abrupt “shocking” conclusion that teaches this timeless lesson for growing up: don’t indulge in sins of the flesh and smoke pot or someone you love could end up roadkill. Bonus points for attractive actresses in lengthy gratuitous nude scenes and soundtrack songs that refer to the plot and characters by name.  According to The Psychotronic Video Guide, C&D was the first (and only?) Crown International Pictures Release to get slapped with an X rating. (A side note: there’s not much on IMDB about Osborne but it is worth noting that her (non-)star-turning role in C&D was followed by titles like: Miss Nymphet’s Zap-In, The  Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio, Midnight Plowboy, and The Manson Massacre.)

~ by Number5ive on March 27, 2009.

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