Corpses are Forever (2004) Reviewed

"Corpses are Forever"

"Corpses are Forever"

If you love zombies, steer clear. The James Bond references are abandoned after the opening credit sequence. Hilariously bad Matrix/Memento/Total Recall rip-off that can’t get its arms around its own overly ambitious story. The writer/director/lead actor probably thinks we just don’t get it, but we do and it’s retarded. There’s a dramatic revelation in almost every scene with scant explanation. Touted as a zombie movie, there are few to be found here. What there IS, however, is a grand buffet of B-movie stars. Sadly this movie is beneath even them (except maybe Conrad Brooks). Richard Lynch is really good and whenever he has a monologue you are tricked into thinking you’re watching a real movie. Brinke Stevens is here too and so is Linnea Quigley, who is also featured in a jaw-droppingly bizarre DVD extra in which she gives us a tour of her home(!?) Don’t get me started on the Felissa (Sleepaway Camp) Rose cameo. What a disappointing waste. The gore is lame, the fight scenes are poorly staged so that you can clearly see a foot or two between fist and face. Worse yet, there’s no damn nudity in a movie that desperately needs it. Its sheer awfulness almost makes it worthy of a look but it’s just too dang long. *1/2

~ by Number5ive on April 7, 2009.

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