Empire Records (1995) Reviewed

Empire Records: the Urban Outfitters of crappy music.

Empire Records: the Urban Outfitters of crappy music.

Obnoxious teen comedy/melodrama that unfolds in the title record store, from Allan Moyle, the director of the infinitely superior Pump Up the Volume. The whole viewing experience is something akin to nails on a chalkboard. Assuming we’d like the hip teen characters that work at Empire Recordswas a serious miscalculation. They’re worse than unlikable, they’re unbelievable. The teen angst on display is of the most suburban, white and spoiled kind there is. By the time the climactic, concert-to-save-the-store scene comes along you’ll be so annoyed you’ll pray that they fail. Among those responsible: Renee Zelwegger (Who sings!…I think.), Liv Tyler, Ethan Embry and Robin Tuney as a suicidal goth girl (yawn!). Anthony Lapaglia is the store owner and Debi Mazzar is his girlfriend. Both appear to be in a constant state of pain and shame. The teen employees seem to come and go to and from their jobs as they please and have no evident friends outside of co-workers. G.W.A.R. has a brief cameo as a pot-brownie-induced hallucination (Um, I don’t think pot brownies induce hallucinations.). Gratingly, hatefully, excruciatingly bad.

~ by Number5ive on June 16, 2009.

One Response to “Empire Records (1995) Reviewed”

  1. The ONLY reason I ever wanted to see this film at all was because of the photo of Liv Tyler on the cover seemed all kinds of yummy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: